And Other Death Defying FeatsAVOIDING MY FEARS Some people love scary things. I am not one of them. I don’t like horror movies where mass murderers wearing hockey masks attack innocent bystanders with a chain saw. I hate heights, especially when combined with speed, as in riding a rollercoaster. I have no desire to risk potential death by bungee jumping off of a bridge over a deep canyon. I thought that my fears kept me safe. I cautiously moved through the world making judicious decisions that kept me guarded from serious injury, not only of my physical body but also of my psyche. I carefully weighed the consequences of doing anything that seemed dangerous, where I could get hurt. This attitude kept me safe in some ways but it wasn’t much fun. I sat on the sidelines when one of my friends had a special birthday party and we all pitched in to send her on a hot air balloon ride. I stayed with the ground crew while others went up in the balloon with her. I followed in a car and watched from below when the balloon went off course and lost the wind. I witnessed the mayhem of having the balloon pulled down in an intersection in the middle of a heavily populated neighborhood. I was safe but it wasn’t as fun or exciting as actually being in the balloon. FACING MY FEARS I did let my friends talk me into going river rafting on the Snake River. At the time I agreed to do it because I didn’t have a clue what class five rapids actually were. Less than an hour into the days long trip I thought was going to die. We hit the edge of a massive whirlpool and the large inflatable raft I was riding in went vertical. I was sitting on the front edge of the raft holding on to a safety rope for dear life while I watched a giant wall of water crash down on us from above. Seconds later the raft bounced up out of the wave and careened down the river. I was eternally grateful that I was still in the raft and not floating down the river in my life vest, feet first and trying to “breath in the troughs” as we had been instructed to do if we fell out of the raft. We continued through the rapids until we found a quiet spot to pull over to the shore. It took every ounce of my being to get myself back in that raft. When the trip was over it seemed like I could do anything. I felt as if I had faced Death incarnate and survived. I found the sheer joy of having taken a risk despite my fears. Was I a whole new person? Not really. I had many more years ahead of me to slog through the trials and tribulations of life, including divorce, addiction, and the death of loved ones; but it planted a seed. I knew I did not have to be ruled by my fears. EXPLORING THE UNEXPLORED Now that I am 76 and I have a lot of adventures behind me, I am not as afraid of taking risks as I was in my younger days. My writing is filled with references to taking a leap of faith. I’m still not ready to try a physical leap and go bungee jumping, but I am willing to try new things. Actually I am ready for more than just something new. I see myself as exploring the unexplored, whatever that may mean. I am grateful for my friends who have consistently nudged me into doing things I didn’t think were possible for a cautious little old lady like myself.
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Leslie Masona woman in search of her post-retirement future Guess what! By subscribing, you get notices about the latest Little Old Lady with Cats posts sent to your mailbox!
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(from an entry posted on 5/1/2015) “I definitely fit some of the characteristics of a little old lady with cats: Retired - check, Single - check, Like to knit - check, Have cats - check. . .I do not want to get stuck in my Little Old Lady persona, however. In fact, this blog is a risk taking experiment in exploring and redefining what I want my retired life to look like.” Categories
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