It’s been life changing. I have had 15 different housemates. They ranged in age from their early twenties to late eighties. Four of them returned after a time away. Most have stayed a year or two. The longest was with me for over six years. Three of them were twins like me! I have learned something from every single person and most of it was positive. Even the housemates that didn’t work out gave me practice in important skills like boundary setting, and a window into my own character defects that never would have been possible if I had lived alone. My most memorable experience in boundary setting involved a pig. I had a young girl who lived with me for a short time that I just didn’t feel comfortable with. It was a gut feeling. She rarely spoke to me. The longest conversation we had was when I interviewed her as a prospective housemate. After many months I finally decided I was not comfortable sharing my home with someone I barely knew and obviously was never going to know, so in line with our rental agreement I gave her a month’s notice. The day she left I had a day off from teaching and was unexpectedly home. I was kind of shocked to see her boyfriend, who had spent the night, come out of her room carrying a pot bellied pig under his arm. It was not a happy pig and squealed loudly as it was marched out of the house. Surprise, surprise, she had never mentioned pigs in her interview or in any of the months she had lived with me. Later I wondered if she might have been purposely planning to leave it in the bathtub when she left. It certainly solidified my gut feeling that she was not the right housemate for me. This was a rare negative experience. Most of my housemates have been great. They have often been in a major transition in their lives, having recently moved, changed jobs, or ended relationships. I like to think I have provided a safe and comfortable place for them to land. One of my housemates drove all the way across the country with two cats in her car to be closer to her daughter and her family. She found a new relationship in the process. Unfortunately he was allergic to cats. As a result of his allergy I inherited two lovable fur babies when she left. We still keep in touch even though she has moved back to the East Coast. My housemates have encouraged me and enriched my life in so many ways. The original cat Mom is a writer and artist. We used to set aside time to paint together and she is the person who helped me start this blog. We also took a trip to Sweden, Denmark, and Finland together. My longest running housemate, is a political cartoonist, a die hard socialist, and an avowed atheist as well as a former actor with an edgy sense of humor. He gave me lots of practice in defending my own political and religious views and helped me to not take myself so seriously. We still argue at least once a month or so on the phone. My greatest joy, however, was when one of my housemates became pregnant. I was able to be at the birth and hold the baby in my arms. “The baby” is now 25 and nearly six feet tall. Her Mom and I are still close and I consider them part of my family. I am so glad that I took the risk and stepped out of my comfort zone when I decided to put the first “house to share” ad in the paper. It has brought amazing new people and wonderful experiences into my life . . . and a couple of special cats to boot. Kitty and MarioMy inherited cats: Mario is now in cat heaven with my previous cats. The vest was not to make him look stylish. I tried to put a lease on him because he was protecting his territory from dogs in an aggressive way, but he just laid down and refused to move when I put the vest on him. He was very social and friendly with PEOPLE. Kitty is still hanging in there at 18. She has always been shy and anxiety ridden. She is an indoor cat and more of a one person lap cat.
1 Comment
Barbara L Carriker
8/29/2021 08:35:23 pm
What a sweet story.
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Leslie Masona woman in search of her post-retirement future Guess what! By subscribing, you get notices about the latest Little Old Lady with Cats posts sent to your mailbox!
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(from an entry posted on 5/1/2015) “I definitely fit some of the characteristics of a little old lady with cats: Retired - check, Single - check, Like to knit - check, Have cats - check. . .I do not want to get stuck in my Little Old Lady persona, however. In fact, this blog is a risk taking experiment in exploring and redefining what I want my retired life to look like.” Categories
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