Seeds and WeedsI went to a support group that is focused on exploring grief through creativity. There is homework. Being an ex-teacher I can relate to homework. I take it seriously. I know my creative ideas don’t sprout from a vacuum. I need outside sources to spur me on. The inspiration for the homework was “Doubt Seeds Our Weeds.” We could interpret it in whatever way we wanted using whatever process we wanted, including art, crafts, writing, photography, gardening, anything that feels creative. I chose to write a blog entry. Sometimes I struggle with coming up with an idea for my blog so this is a little gift. Let's see where it takes me. Right away it made me think about my garden and the struggles I have been having. More than two weeks ago I planted pole bean and pumpkin seeds. So far the total number of sprouts that have come up is ONE. Obviously I did something wrong. Why is it that weeds need absolutely no attention to grow but my carefully tended veggies are not coming up. Gardening is not for sissies. As with so many other things in life, you have to be prepared for failure. There are definitely some metaphors here - seeds, planting, growth, FAILURE. I hate failure. I hate making mistakes. My whole life has been an exercise in avoiding mistakes. As a result I have avoided doing risky things and things I know I’m not good at. Thankfully I have friends who have gently shoved me into experiences that I normally would have avoided like the plague, including taking belly dancing classes and running class five rapids in a rubber raft. I guess I could say my friends are seed planters, but rather than sewing seeds of doubt they have brought me hope and encouragement. They have given me so many opportunities to grow that I never would have experienced without their help. Now, about weeds. I think the idea of weeds in the prompt was that they are negative things. I certainly don’t like to battle them in my garden. On the other hand, weeds are the hardiest of plants. They will come up anywhere, including cracks in the sidewalk. They have adapted to the worst conditions and even thrive in them. And they can be beautiful. People go to the desert in the spring just to see the wildflowers in bloom. I feel a connection with the weeds’ struggle to survive. A big part of my life has been learning to adapt to difficult situations. I like the idea that life’s challenges are an opportunity to grow. I feel that the death of my sister is one of those instances. It has motivated me to reach out for support which has opened up the possibilities to meet new people and experience things I might not have done. Keeping in mind that my gut reaction is to avoid risky situations, my sister's loss has motivated me to live my life and not listen to that inner voice that is afraid to try new things. I know Lin would love to see me sprouting like a wildflower. We spurred each other on so many times. If one of us was reluctant to try something new, the other would provide the nudge to take on the challenge. She was not only my sister, she was my best friend, and like my other friends she was a seed planter. She helped me evolve so that I could become stronger and more resilient even in the toughest of times, and she inspired me to see my own beauty in the same way I see it in weeds. It is their struggle that has made them beautiful.
1 Comment
Ron Pohlert
5/31/2021 08:55:46 pm
Enjoyed reading 5/28, but I anxiously await the last two years worth!
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Leslie Masona woman in search of her post-retirement future Guess what! By subscribing, you get notices about the latest Little Old Lady with Cats posts sent to your mailbox!
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(from an entry posted on 5/1/2015) “I definitely fit some of the characteristics of a little old lady with cats: Retired - check, Single - check, Like to knit - check, Have cats - check. . .I do not want to get stuck in my Little Old Lady persona, however. In fact, this blog is a risk taking experiment in exploring and redefining what I want my retired life to look like.” Categories
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