BREAKDOWN AT THE BANK I haven’t had a good cry for a long time, but last week I found myself at my bank sobbing like a baby. This wasn’t the quiet cry I have when watching a movie or reading a good book, it was the full on moaning of desperation. Having my purse stolen was hard. The consequences are even harder. I managed to make it through the initial frustration by stifling my feelings. This was made easier by all the helpful people around me. But last week I found myself sitting in a cubicle at the bank being told that my new account, the one I had opened after my purse was stolen, was being closed and frozen because I was flagged as fraudulently seeking access online - to my own account. BREAKTHROUGH AT THE BANK It was a nightmare. I was confused and devastated. It took 2 1/2 hours, most of it on the phone with the fraud department, for the woman at the bank to figure out that my account had not been updated with my correct cell phone number. It was a huge relief to be able to understand why I had not been able to be verified. My account was still frozen, but I was able to open another new one with her help. In the mean time I had gone through banking hell. It was horrible to feel so vulnerable and out of control. No wonder I was a sobbing wreck. I was crying over the frustration of not being believed and the embarrassment of being labeled a criminal. I was crying because the simple things I depended on to make my life easier, like automatic deposits and withdrawals, had been pulled out from under me. I was crying for the loss of my sense of safety in the world. I was crying for all of this, but also for the theft of my purse and the tears I never shed in the first place. BENEFITS OF CRYING Evidently crying is a good thing. Scientific research indicates that emotionally triggered crying releases endorphins that ease both physical and emotional pain and relieve stress. Holding difficult feelings inside can affect your immune system and lead to cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and mental health issues. Although it didn’t feel like it at the time, I guess my breakdown at the bank was good for my health. No doubt it was also pretty stressful for the people trying to help me. Crying is also an important way of dealing with grief and accepting loss. I have had a lot of losses beyond my purse. I still feel sad about losing my twin sister, Linda. Even though it’s been over two years since she died, I sometimes shed some tears when I think of her and other close family and friends that have passed. This process of acceptance seems to be a big part of getting older. BEFORE AND AFTER When my purse was stolen I experienced a wave of gratitude because of the way I was supported through a difficult situation. I am now finding it hard to be grateful, as the realty and consequences of that theft come crashing down. Gratitude seems to have been replaced by acceptance. I don’t like it but I don’t have much control over what comes next. I just have to accept and deal with whatever happens, and maybe shed a few more tears as well. That’s OK. At least I can take comfort in the fact that crying is good for my health.
2 Comments
Meg
11/9/2023 09:24:00 pm
So glad you were able to cry! Yep those tears are a great release. Beautiful writing too! Hope you can laugh too. You get the same goodies from laughing as from crying. Love, Meg
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JOAN L LINDBERG
11/11/2023 11:00:35 am
I can relate. My bank once emptied my account for an equity loan payment and subsequent checks flew thru and caused a HUGE overdraft. I called the bank and talked to a young man who gave me a hard time. H insisted they had the right to do that without notice. So I told him he might as well finish the job and take my blood too. Then I mockingly said "I supposed you'll report me tot he authorities" and sure enuf he did. The cops arrived at my workplace just as I was preparing to leave to get a foster collie to a vet appointment. I could tell the female cop was sympathetic but the male cop was NOT.
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Leslie Masona woman in search of her post-retirement future Guess what! By subscribing, you get notices about the latest Little Old Lady with Cats posts sent to your mailbox!
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