WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?
I feel like I don’t have a direction. Even though I have been writing about it, everything I put down into words leaves me feeling like I have hit a dead end. I keep wondering where am I going and what I need to do to get there? Although it’s been an interesting adventure, this dating thing was not what I had in mind as something for a single 75 year old to explore; it just came out of nowhere. I saw the ad for speed dating and thought, “What the heck.” I was open to the possibilities. The initial excitement of meeting new people and actually going out on dates is winding down. Although it has opened up my perception of what my life as a little old lady with cats can be, I don’t see a clear path to follow into the future. I don’t want to go backwards but I don’t know where to go from here either. MAKING CHANGES I feel a little like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz except I have a cat in my basket instead of Toto. I have been swept up in a tornado of circumstances that require making decisions for the future, and dropped into an unfamiliar world. My yellow brick road seems to go in a million directions and I can’t make up my mind about which ones to follow. I know I need to make some changes and change doesn’t come easy for me. It feels overwhelming. There is a part of me that thinks it requires a monumental effort where I have to make a total turn around and sign up for online dating. The truth is that change happens in imperceptible degrees, the kind an airplane pilot makes to stay on course. A slight wing dip to the left and then to the right, all the while keeping your eye on the horizon. You barely realize the change in direction because it happens so gradually. OPEN TO THE POSSIBILITIES Maybe I don’t need to try so hard. I can’t make new relationships automatically happen, but I don’t think I need to sign myself up for online dating. I’m not ready for that kind of challenge. My dating experience actually started with just being open to the possibilities of a new kind of relationship. Perhaps just trusting that by keeping myself and my heart open, I will be guided onto the right path. In many ways it has been the unexpected things in life that have brought me the most joy. Rather than looking for the right answers I think I need to get out of the battle of who I am and who I want to be and be grateful for where I am right now. Yes, at 75 I have some time limits and some physical limits, but most of my limits about where I am going are in my head. I just need to put one foot in front of the other and enjoy the journey on my yellow brick road.
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Leslie Masona woman in search of her post-retirement future Guess what! By subscribing, you get notices about the latest Little Old Lady with Cats posts sent to your mailbox!
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WHAT IS A LITTLE OLD LADY WITH CATS - REALLY?
(from an entry posted on 5/1/2015) “I definitely fit some of the characteristics of a little old lady with cats: Retired - check, Single - check, Like to knit - check, Have cats - check. . .I do not want to get stuck in my Little Old Lady persona, however. In fact, this blog is a risk taking experiment in exploring and redefining what I want my retired life to look like.” Categories
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