![]() The trick to my finding peace of mind is to consider what I CAN change vs. what I need to accept. The Serenity Prayer comes to mind. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE: 1. I cannot change the looming health issues affecting my family. I have a tendency to want to make everyone and everything better, as if I actually had the power to do this. Not only can I NOT make these serious health issues go away, I have my own health issues to deal with. I know I need to put my own oxygen mask on in order to be able to be a support for someone else. 2. I cannot change how other people feel. Everyone, including me, gets to have their own feelings and express them even if I feel uncomfortable when those feelings come bubbling up. It’s hard for me to be around someone who is angry or sad, but the only way to avoid this is to become an isolated hermit, which is definitely NOT on my agenda. THINGS I CAN CHANGE: 1. Worry. I am the master of worry. I have honed it to a skill. I need to get a grip and accept that there is no purpose projecting into the future and worrying about what might or could happen. It’s either going to happen and when it does I get to choose how to deal with it in that moment, or it’s not going to happen and then I don’t have to bother dealing with it. Getting worry out of my brain is the challenge. After spending time plotting out ways to deal with imagined problems that kept me awake the other night, I finally recognized there was no purpose to my mental ruminations. I did my deep breathing, brain emptying thing and I was able to sleep peacefully, although I did have some weird dreams about a giant lumbering turtle who walked on two feet like something out of a Japanese monster movie. Getting my worries out by talking to supportive friends is also good, but I must be careful not to pass them on to someone else by excessive dumping. 2. I can exercise. I exercised while I was on my trip, but I also ended up with a hip pain that wasn’t there before. Despite my nagging hip, today I got back on the exercise bike and I walked with a friend. Big star on my forehead. 3. I can cook and plan good things to eat. I have been harvesting piles of ripe tomatoes from my garden and I made a pasta primavera with them. 4. I can be productively creative. I did this on my trip. I wrote blog entries and imagined mysteries and I made works of art using my phone camera. Writing my blog always puts me in a different place psychologically. I have been frustrated about a desire to write a mystery but after talking to a friend about it I have a whole new perspective. She encouraged me to just write and not worry (there’s that nasty little word again) about who I am writing for or what kind of plot. Just write. I can do that. THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE: I have a lot of voices in my head that constantly tell me what to do. Distinguishing the good advice from the bad is a daily task. A friend suggested that I think out of the box. I will continue to ponder what this could mean as I deal with life’s changes. ![]() I am back from a trip to see my family in the Midwest. The trip brought up a lot of feelings. I am worried about my family and I found myself having trouble getting to sleep while I schemed over how to fix everyone and everything. I am having a Debby Downer moment, which a friend pointed out to me this morning on a walk. David Bowie’s song “Changes” keeps repeating in my brain. Clearly there will be new issues and challenges on the horizon for me and all of my family. My own slightly annoying issues of discovering that my fit-over sunglasses don’t actually “fit over” my new frames and the fact that I have a pain in my hip that appeared without warning, pale in comparison with what my family members have to deal with. Everywhere I went on my trip, people I loved were dealing with health issues that were potentially life threatening and certainly life-changing.
1 Comment
Linda Mason Pace
8/30/2015 09:15:32 am
I think we all have a struggle with wanting everyone and everything to be healthy and happy. It's frustrating when we can't make pain go away for those we care about - whether they be furry or human. It's frustrating when we can't look ahead and see the future and know that everything will be perfect. Change is a given and hard for all of us - even more so when we don't know what is coming. I like the serenity prayer.
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Leslie Masona woman in search of her post-retirement future Guess what! By subscribing, you get notices about the latest Little Old Lady with Cats posts sent to your mailbox!
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