My loss is total and final. My sister died two days ago. It was too soon. I didn’t have a chance to see her one more time. There are questions in my head about events we experienced together that will go unanswered. My heart is broken.
When my Dad died I had some experiences where other people saw him or felt him after he was gone. I was skeptical and jealous at the same time. Why was he contacting the custodian at his apartment or a total stranger in my support group but not me? I wanted to dream about him and the dreams didn’t come although now, 6 years later, they happen all the time. I wondered whether Lin would try to contact me. Was she checking in with my neighbors? Was she visible to my cat? Was she even able to do what Dad did? I wondered. . . and then I saw the turkey. I was doing my evening walk around the neighborhood and had stopped to admire the paint color on one of the houses. When I turned around a very large wild turkey strolled across the sidewalk in front of me. Granted there are a lot of wild animals that cruise through my neighborhood, like raccoons, skunks, squirrels, rats. However, in the 37 years I have lived here I have NEVER seen a turkey, except for the times I pulled one out of the oven on Thanksgiving. He seemed quite comfortable, strolling along at an unhurried pace. I whipped out my phone and started snapping pictures. I didn’t want to scare him away but he did not seem to be concerned about a little old lady cautiously following behind him. After I had duly recorded him for posterity I continued my walk. I was brimming with the realization of what a wonderful experience I had had. The thought crossed my mind that I might have missed seeing the turkey if I had listened to that inner voice that was balking at going out for a walk. It occurred to me that it could be Linda. Maybe she sent the turkey as a reward for taking care of myself by going for a walk. Or not. Lin wasn’t particularly attached to turkeys. There was no mind bending experience with turkeys we had shared. We didn’t agree to “look for the turkey” before she died as proof that she was communicating from the afterlife. What we did do was support and encourage each other. Even if she didn’t send it, I felt supported and encouraged by my turkey experience. I put a lot of store in serendipity. When something happens in a way that I feel it was just meant to be I take it seriously. Seeing that turkey was so surprising and uplifting it took me away from my deep sadness for a while. It doesn’t make any difference whether or not it was a sign from my sister. It made me happy and I am sure it would have made her happy too.
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Leslie Masona woman in search of her post-retirement future Guess what! By subscribing, you get notices about the latest Little Old Lady with Cats posts sent to your mailbox!
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